Topics for the last few posts have been a little on the
heavy side, so here’s something a little bit lighter.
We all
have an image of Bollywood in our heads even if you (like me, until a couple of
months ago) couldn’t name a single film: Tellytubby-style colours, huge crowds
of head wobbling dancers in the streets, the totally over the top fight scenes.
I’m going to be honest, it’s all true, but actually, I have genuinely enjoyed
every film I’ve seen. Not even in a ‘so bad it’s good’ way, but genuine enjoyment.
Despite the super-cheesy, attention-grabbing, money-spinning dance routines (check
out my favourite: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LX0Ced3G5eg&hd=1),
the characters are engaging and the storylines pretty memorable. There does
seem to be some sort of Bollywood checklist that means that each film has to
have love, death, marriage, babies, fight scenes, suicide, murder, weddings (I could go on), so a numb
bum is an integral part of the viewing experience, but nonetheless I’m honestly
considering stocking up my DVD collection.
On the
other hand, there’s television. I can only assume that the entire budget for
India’s entertainment media is spent on the film industry, so all TV is supplied
by the same small team armed with a rudimentary understanding of production and
an 80s camcorder. There seem to be two main categories: soaps and series based
on legends and epics. The soaps are all the same: new wife, bitchy
sister-in-law with a slightly evil husband, large-bosomed matriarch and her
husband in a stonking great house in which everyone has three assigned places
to stand. In a thirty minute episode, approximately fourteen minutes are
supreme close-ups of people looking shocked/ angry/ upset and another nine
minutes of adverts. I like to think that Indian drama schools have whole
modules on melodramatic facial expressions, eyebrow control like that only
comes with some serious practice. The series about legends are a lot better (or
at least, more entertaining), if only because of the phenomenal range of fake
moustaches. Think back to the adventure films of the late 80s/ early 90s to get
an idea of the special effects and evil cackling involved, then add a lot of
men in skirts and huge gold hats that even the Pope would be jealous of- voila!
An instant hit. It’s honestly difficult to tell whether a programme is aimed at adults
or children, but at least I have now realised that my true calling is to be a
TV moustache-dresser.
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